This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
