Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
