have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize