I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
