I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
