he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
