I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
