A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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