weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
