Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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