Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
