why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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