thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
