; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
