Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
