gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
