So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Someone shit on the floor
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize