No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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