The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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