Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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