'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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