Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
