Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
