Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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