Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize