I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
