I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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