found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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