Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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