i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
