Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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