Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize