nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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