I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
