he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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