Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize