just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
