Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
