just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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