Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
