This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Watching her eat just hurts me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
