the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My nipple is on Facebook.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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