Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
