My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she looked like the before picture.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
