and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
