The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
