No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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