How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
