Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
