My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
