Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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