I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
