the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
