I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
