so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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