I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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