Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
