i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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