Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
