Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
