hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
