paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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