Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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