honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize