Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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