we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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