he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
