He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
