peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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