Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
